The Justices Okay Strip Searches. Oy Vey!

I don't have washboard abs. Mine have slid downward like crumpled laundry down a laundry chute and have settled in a lumpy clump at my bottom. Sure, at times it's bothered me, but honestly, I've never been as concerned as I am right now. It seems that The Supreme Court has ruled that police can strip search people they arrest -- even when there are no grounds for suspicion. It's true that I tend be law abiding, and should not have too much to fear. Still, I find it disconcerting that my private body -- which at worst is a fashion sin but in no way illegal -- can be inspected by a stranger, at will. No disrespect, to be sure, but what's with these Justices? Even my gynecologist lends me a sheet. Just what is happening in America? Strip searching ruled legal for innocent-before-proven-guilty citizens! Plus, gun laws in Florida that protect both shooters' rights and concealed weapons and have led to the death of 17 year-old Trayvon Martin. I brood, until I have an epiphany. There is a vital and perhaps even beneficial connection hidden within these decrees. If everyone were to undress in common cause with the newly arrested there would no longer be the possibility of concealed weapons. As a result, the reflexive kill-rate would drop faster than my hips. What's more, if everyone disrobes, conservatives and liberals might find although they look at the world differently, to the world they look the same. This gives new meaning to the phrase, "Citizens United." Maybe the Supreme Court has done something really farseeing after all. In support, I've joined a gym.