What is it in the mind that rebels against a vow?
What is it in me that repulses my best efforts to do this or that,
after only a teeny tiny time of trying? Why do I seem to want something when I wake at 9:00 am that I've forgotten about by noon?
Am I alone in my aborted-starts? And if not -- even if this is the human condition -- what good does knowing a fact like this do for me?
For example, these are some of things I promise myself I will do each day:
Write in my journal every morning. Not eat between meals. Walk up the 5 flights to my apartment at least once a day. And remember this is my list.
I could play shrink with myself. Unfortunately, even when it's me that's "asking nicely," my haughty, I-know-better contrariness around authority figures insanely boycotts myself!
Conjecture! Conjecture! "I strongly object to this hack, this mediocre shrink with her low-brow ideas, opining on my actions or lack thereof, unconscious though they may be, or even intentionally detestable.
That felt good! I love putting my super ego in its place.
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